I'll never forget 5th grade camp...and one campfire story in particular...
We all gathered around the fire, excited to hear a fun story.
It was a dark and sto... SPAZ? Why are you interrupting my story? Don't worry, he's just jealous because I can deliver that line without interruption...
Anyway... It was a dark and stormy night. It was so quiet you could hear the night creatures scampering through the woods, the bats flying overheard, and the night owls who-who-whoing...altogether too close by. (shiver)
Yonder was an upcoming storm. You could hear the far away thunder as it was approaching overhead, and could see the lightning crackle throughout the skyline in the distance. (Oh, I hate storms...)
The legend of ole Mr. Stumpy was told for our entertainment. (Oh shit, there's a Mr. Stumpy?) He died right here in these woods one night...whose estranged brother, whose wife he stole for himself, chopped his leg off with a firewood axe during a confrontation they had one day and beat him to death with the bloody stump. (holy shit)
Countless thousands of towns folk have heard Mr. Stumpy right here in these very woods. (eyes wide)
As well as passersby who didn't even know about Mr. Stumpy. While happily setting up camp, they heard what sounded like moaning and groaning coming from the woods... sounded like crawling...and dragging noises. That would be Mr. Stumpy pulling himself through the woods dragging his bloody stump behind him... (blink)... looking for someone to bludgeon to death with it...like what happened to him... (frozen silence)
Hear tell... If Mr. Stumpy hears anyone talking about him...he will wake from his death slumber (again, holy shit)...and cause him to seek you out and not stop until he finds you.
-- Well, right about now, the lights go out over at the main camp house --
-- Loud groans and scuffling noises begin coming towards us from in the woods! --
HOLY FUCK SHIT!! (Thanks Moooooog) I'm not sticking around here!!
Now you see 50-some 5th grade kids screaming and running in every direction. Some went to their cabin and locked the doors...locking out others who were pounding on doors, screaming, and crying. Some actually ran INTO (yes, I said INTO) said woods. They might have been special ed, I'm not sure. One even ran dead into a tree and knocked himself out.
Ahhhhh, the memories of 5th grade scary campfire stories. Needless to say, the camp counselors that year had a LOT to answer for.