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When you don't know what you're talking about, it's hard to know when you're finished...

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mother-Tard of the Day

Yeah...that'd be me....

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY...hope all the Moms out there had a well-deserved wonderful day!

I saw my kids yesterday, so for me today was R & R day, which I get very few of. It started out great...I slept in (and aren't THOSE the best days ever!), puttered around the place for a while, and decided today was a good day to do the week's grocery shopping rather than fitting it in after work one evening.

So, I took the time to take note of what was actually needed instead of guessing by memory (for those of you who don't already know...my memory sucks huge)...made a list, and got my coupons together (I'm NEVER this organized). I even remembered to take the handy-dandy handled tote bags with me....and then headed to the store. Even on Sunday Mother's Day, the store was packed, like usual. But I managed to find everything without a hitch...and then some...

I proceeded to the checkout and for once didn't have to wait in a long line -- cool. So, I'm handing over my coupons and getting out my checkbook when...Horror of horrors!... NO checks! Just great!....and me without my bank card (that's a whole different story). So I say, "Aw hell!" and show her the empty checkbook... I asked if they could just hold my stuff for five minutes while I run home to get the checks, basically across the street, and I'd be RIGHT BACK. Sure, she replied, with a smile.

THEN the fun began.... First she says into the store's loudspeaker, "Red Vest to aisle 7, Red Vest to aisle 7." (Holy shit, it sounded like the British were coming!) A siren goes off that sounds like the sinking of a battleship (vip! vviipp!! VVVVIIIPPP!!!), and all the while the baggers are running around confiscating my cart and whisking it off to parts unknown....and I do believe the fire station alarms were going off too (geez, forget one little thing)... or might as well have been for all the attention I was drawing. Yeah, THIS was how I wanted today to go.... So, I proceed out to the car followed by store security.... and fully expecting to have a police escort ready and waiting to accompany me home and back... but after inspecting the area, none were in sight... this city DID recently cut back on the police...

So, about 8 minutes later, I arrive back at the store and proceeded to register 7 to have her pull up my "ring out" and let me pay and get outta there....but I'm told that -- No, she can't just pull it back up, everything has to be scanned all over again. Well, isn't THAT just great. So, she calls bagger Matt to go retrieve my cart...which must've been shipped over the state line and back because it took longer to get the cart than it did for me to run home and back... Oh yeah, the people in line behind me by now were really lovin' me too...

Two years -- or 10 minutes later -- when the cart finally arrived, and everything was dis-carted, re-scanned, and re-bagged, I write the check...... FOR THE WRONG AMOUNT!! Yep, I did... my turn to be tard of the day!!.... and I was roaming amongst you.... I actually think it was all the stress of having to put on that "I'm sorry" smile so often to the people in line behind me....

Anyway, I knew then that I had to just go home and stay there... where no one else had to be a party to my obviously blunder-filled day... Hey, at least I had beer...... and chips.... AND TP, which I need to take to work with me tomorrow!! (that'd be per my last post)

So, here's hoping you had a better Mother's Day than mine was......I'm Just Sayin... ;)

13 comments:

Shawn said...

That sounds like quite the adventure. I've gotten to the checkout a few times to realize my wallet was in my car, but never at home.

LMAO @ (Holy shit, it sounded like the British were coming!)

Winky Twinky said...

Yeah, it was like a nightmare... red vests, sirens, baggers running around.... or maybe more like a circus... LOL.. wonder if I could make it happen again... hehe.. Nahh, even *I* wouldn't go that far... but it WAS an experience...

Wayne said...

I really like what you say i think if you keep it up you can be a very good writer.

Phillipia said...

Aww - I am sorry your day was not as good as it should have been...but I have done the same thing...only I did not live 5 mins away - more like 1/2 hour, so they had to reshelf the groceries:)
And then there was the time I left my cart with the cart boy because I could not carry all my bags out to my car and carts are not allowed out of the store....I got all the way home before I realized I forgot to pick up my groceries:(
Feel better?

Winky Twinky said...

ROFLMAO................ yes, I do feel better, thanks
...to my friends........

Tim Higgins said...

Grocery stores are yet another form of social suicide. Supposedly build for convenience, they are really designed to bemuse, befuddle, and infuriate. There only saving grace is that we can finish up in the checkout line grateful that we are not as self-absorbed or as brain dead as most of those bagging our necessities.

anditsgone46 said...

That was funny and something totally that would happend to me. BTW I was reading your profile (before I read your blog) and saw you had grandkids and thought to myself "cool an old granny blogger, isn't that sweet"; imagine my surprise when i looked at your age, you're a year younger than me - see i FORGOT to have children so now i think i'm a perpetual teenager....great blog!!

Winky Twinky said...

Tim: Yeah, sometimes you could literally say it's like Night of the Living Zombie Baggers...

Anditsgone: Granny yes, but old --not quite yet, although it's all relative. I had my son young, so I get to experience the grandkids earlier also...but there's a lot to be said for being a perpetual teenager.. I can totally relate!

Marissa said...

The next time you show up at the store, those whispers you hear will not just be your imagination.

Winky Twinky said...

Oh great...now I have something else to worry about... ;)

lindapiekarski said...

O.M.G.!...I am so sorry I asked how your Mom's Day was.Glad you told me to read the blog. Now I hope you do not get a Phobia about Checkbooks,Isle 7 or those guys in red vests.Humm you must of gone to meijer's. Glad you made it home ok. hope the beer was still cold enough for you though.

Winky Twinky said...

hehe... that wouldn't inspire a phobia for *me,* more like a curiosity to make it happen again...lol.. but, no I won't. Anyway, yes the beer was still good, thanks.

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