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When you don't know what you're talking about, it's hard to know when you're finished...

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Who's the Sadistic Bastard?!?

I MEAN REALLY!!!

I recently got a new-to-me van...after a little work, it'll be good as new! Anyway, this thing came with a built-in SAFETY feature. Yeah...a *safety* feature.....

Here's how it works: As soon as you unlock the door...or open a door, or do anything as far as accessing the vehicle, this *safety* feature kicks in and you then have X amount of time to disable the alarm, which is counting down. This is done by pressing and holding down a particular button inside the vehicle for five seconds. Presumably this is to disuade those who would break in.....

But what if you aren't worried about that...

Here's my thinking..... I am desperately running for my life from the legions of undead zombies who found me unawares by the Chinese fat people who were trailing my car that evening.... I get to the van and get in as quickly as possible with the zombies hot on my trail.

At this point, what you WANT is to be able to hop in, start the damn thing and get the hell outta there!! But....NO..... I get to my van, unlock it with my key and hop in. In order to start the van, I must first disable the alarm or not only will the alarm go off, but you cannot start it. So, I'm sitting there pressing the alarm button to disable the alarm.....MIND YOU, the button you must push to disarm the thing is the UNLOCK button...yep, the UN-frickin-lock button!!! So, now I'm a sitting target .... So, I wanna know -- WHO is the sadistic bastard who came up with this genious invention!!!! Haven't they ever watched a horror flick...or worked downtown??!!?? ......I'm just sayin.....

So, my solution to this is to cleverly disguise my van so the zombies will become confused ... or at the very least take extra time to smash through the uniquely designed coverings.....

I know.... great idea huh? :-P

5 comments:

Shawn said...

Whhhaaaa? I would have that crap disabled immediately. You're right, it could be a matter of life or (gruesome, flesh eating) death.

Winky Twinky said...

I KNOWW!!!!!.... Well, I did the best I could for now.... I'm cleverly "disguised."

Marissa said...

Does the alarm sound like this: MEOW!! MEOW!!

Tim Higgins said...

Thank goodness that zombie season doesn't normally begin until mid-June. There is therefore time to more fully disable this POS security system before you are attacked.

Winky Twinky said...

Whew!! That's good to know...