Yep, they dwell among us..... These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods:
On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu Dessert: (printed on bottom of the box):
Do Not Turn Upside Down. (Oops, too late!! Sucks to be you!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.....OW OW OW OH SHIT!!)
On packaging for a Rowenta Iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(Awwww, come on, wouldn't that save time?)
On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to.....use in outer space??)
On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Okay, now I'm just curious....anybody??)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.
(Somebody got paid big bucks to write this one.... )
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Geez, Raise your hand if you've tried this!!... )