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When you don't know what you're talking about, it's hard to know when you're finished...

Monday, June 8, 2009

Fucktard of the Day!!

Yep, they're out there... Fucktard Warning:

Okay, so I'm drivin down the road, right?...... It's been a L-O-N-G Monday to say the least... AND I'm in my new-to-me hoopty van!! (hoopty doo!!)

Said fucktard is driving in the lane to the immediate right of me. BTW, the music is so loud, I can't hear my OWN radio!

I'm now in the left of the double left turn lanes....Fucktard is in the right left turn lane (since it's a double left turn lane don'tcha know)...

SUDDENLY, without any warning whatsoever...Fucktard swerves right in front of me.... putting me and my new hoopty in immediate danger!!! It's a miracle....maybe guardian angels....or my overdose of caffiene, it's hard to say...... but I was able to avoid the collision he was OBVIOUSLY trying to make happen!!! But here's the good part...... oh yeah....

After we pull over to recover from the almost catastrophy... the first thing Fucktard says to me is...... Dooooooood, like where'd you come from? You totally weren't there a minute ago....

??!!!???? YES!!!!! I WAS!!!! My question is ------ WTF were YOU????? Space cadet here..... WTF? OH..... BTW...... he had to hurry and get into my lane because................ -- he saw a Sprint Wireless store!!! Yeah, said Fucktard was on his way to the mall cell phone store, but upon seeing a Sprint store directly to his left, decided to IMMEDIATELY and without LOOKING apparently.... to just turn...... others in traffic be damned....... Yep, they dwell among us.... growing 'em every day 'round here.... Makes ya think twice about even running to the damn store!!! BEWARE!

...I'm Just Sayin...

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I say we bring back parental licensing and public executions!

Winky Twinky said...

LOL... You may have a good point there... If he were MY son, I'd've kicked his ass too far to come back from...but that's for another day -- and NOT that THAT even works... but it does make you feel better... ;)

nipsy said...

As much as I miss driving, and believe you me I miss it a whole hell of a lot, the other fucktards out there I do not miss one damn iota. I'm still in shock from the guy eating and reading a newspaper while driving almost 70 mph next to me on the free way.

Winky Twinky said...

I'd be so lost without my freedom to drive...good luck with that... but OMG!! driving 70 while reading a newspaper?? lol What's up with the car that has feet sticking out of both sides... both on their cell phones... and the smell of weed wafting as you drive by..... wow... makes you scared to even bother driving....

Shawn said...

It seems like I "almost get in an accident and die" every day. People are getting way more aggressive and not-good at the wheel.

Winky Twinky said...

You're right about that... I laughed @ "almost die" but you never know these days... people are crazy...

Tim Higgins said...

WT,

See, our parents were right. Loud music and cell phones do cause brain damage.

Winky Twinky said...

Yep....and since most of us are wearing glasses, they were right about the TV too!! Think kids today will listen?? Nooooooooo... always gotta learn the hard way I guess.... ;)

Chris said...

I take it from your infusion of the moniker "fucktard" that you're a Chris Moore fan? If you haven't read "Lamb" yet, you must. It's a riot.

Glad you survived your brush with fucktardness.

Winky Twinky said...

Thanks Chris, glad to still be among the living... No, I'm not familiar with Chris Moore...I'm still kind of a newby 'round these parts. Thanks for pointing me in tht direction, I'll definitely check it out!