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When you don't know what you're talking about, it's hard to know when you're finished...

Monday, June 22, 2009

The Resimay

To hoom it mae cunsern,
I waunt to apply for the job what I saw in the paper.

I kin type realee qwik with one finggar and do sum a counting.

I think I am good on the fone and I no I am a pepole person, Pepole realee seam to reespond to me well. Certain men and all the ladies.

I no my spelling is not too good but find that I offen can get a job with my persinalety...

My salerery is open so we kin discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth. I kin start emeditely.

Thank yoo in advanse fore yore anser. Hopifuly yore best aplicant so farr.

Sinseerly,

Bubba

PS: Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me.

Employer's response:
Dear Bubba,
It's OK, Honey, we've got spell check. See you Monday.

13 comments:

Frank Lee MeiDere said...

Here is an honest-to-god, e-mailed job application sent to the police department in Toronto. I use it in class to show my students why you actually do need English if you hope to get a job.

------

how i want to become a police officer pl
hellow how are you my name is [name removed] i go to linchon m alexander high school in malton i would like to know how to become a police becuase iam almost done school this is my last year in high school and i think it would be greate if i can try it out on how to become a police iam 17 and i would like to learn please email me at [e-mail address removed]@hotmail.com thank you for your time..

Winky Twinky said...

That's certainly a good example for your students. It really makes you wonder how this 17 year old got as far as he did without SOMEONE -- like the SCHOOL -- making sure their students are doing better than this as a requirement of graduation. It's good that he wants to be on the right side of the law...but he'll need a miracle with spelling like that. What a shame. Thanks for sharing.

Chris@Maugeritaville said...

As a person who regularly screens applications and interviews job candidates, I can tell you that good spelling and grammar are absolutely essential.

When I'm screening, any misspellings, poor grammar or sloppiness immediately gets the app put in the "no" pile. If people aren't willing to give their best on the application, they won't improve when they get the job.

Wow, that was a serious comment.

Now go back and fire the dingbat cowboy. That's sexual harassment.

Winky Twinky said...

Chris: Yes, I agree completely. Although the current work environment is such that they are laying off and not replacing people, I have also been in a position to hire people, and I do the same thing. Spelling, grammatical errors, and a lack of neatness goes immediately into the *no* pile, especially since I hire for clerical positions...

Now, about the cowboy...ya gotta have some eye candy every now and then! It isn't sexual harassment if I keep it to myself, is it? ... ;-P

Phillipia said...

I will hire the cowboy...

I have spell check...

Our office is an EOE and ...

Just send him straight to my cube for training.

Anonymous said...

ya, but is the cowboy gay, or is he "Clay gay"?

Winky Twinky said...

Phillipia: I will add you to the list of eager employers...

Anonymous: He does look happy, doesn't he... Ooohh, you mean THAT kind of gay...naahhh ;-P

Nooter said...

meh, would look better if he had a chestful of hair like me!

Winky Twinky said...

Nooter: LOL...personally, I prefer hair on a man's chest... but, um.. you'd look pretty funny without it ;)

Marissa said...

Once he's hired, I would definitely change the office dress code to Only Chaps Allowed - No Shirt. No Exception.

Tim Higgins said...

WT,

To those so willing to pass accept this applicant, regardless of the position. Let me point out that while he does have a nice hat, his boots and gloves appear to be clean, and he likewise appears to be able to hold up his ... saddle, no one seems to be worried about whether he has the 'spurs' for the job (they are not visible in the enclosed picture).

While I expect that his typing would be found acceptable by many, perhaps those reviewing applications should be looking more for a cunning linguist instead. (Did I say that last part out loud?) ;-)

Winky Twinky said...

TH: You make quite a point there... I absolutely *LOVE* the play on words, you are a master! ;)

Winky Twinky said...

Marissa: I think you're on to something there....