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When you don't know what you're talking about, it's hard to know when you're finished...

Friday, June 26, 2009

Word Play Part I

Here are some alternative meanings for common words:

1. Coffee (n) the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj) appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v) to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj) impotent.

6. Negligent (adj) describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v) to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n) olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n) a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n) a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n) a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n) a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Circumvent (n) an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.


Washington Post


Phillipia said...

Thanks for the laugh...

Just for the record...

I have been coffee...
I am flabbergasted...
I have abdicated...
I often esplanade (it is so much fun)..
I know some willy-nilly guys - not in the biblical sense because they are too willy-nilly...
I have been negligent a couple of times...
I do not lymph; Gargoyle sounds pretty good:)
I feel like I could use the help of a flatulance about now:)
Your turn..

Anonymous said...

that made me laugh so hard all the kids came running to ask what was so funny. Thanks for the LOL


LiLu said...

These are GENIUS. I just abdicated this morning. ;-)

Larew said...

So THAT's what those things mean... I was wondering. Thanks for enlightening me!

Nanodance said...

I have officially abdicated. Glad to know that there is a word for that.

Winky Twinky said...

Phillipia: Yep, I pretty much have 'em all covered myself too...almost...

Anonymous: You're welcome.

LiLu: I pretty much flabbergasted and abdicated a loooong time ago.

Larew: Yes, many words have more than one meaning...or can have ;)

Nanodance: It's good to make it official, then you don't have to worry about it anymore.