About Me

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When you don't know what you're talking about, it's hard to know when you're finished...

Monday, March 30, 2009

One for the Guys!!

Every day I give thanks to God
I was born a man instead of a broad
When "Oprah" comes on I turn off my TV
I don't shave my legs I stand up to pee

I go to a barber, not a beauty salon
I don't pluck out my eyebrows
Just to draw them back on
I don't wax my pubes just so I can wear shorts
I use my turn signal,
I understand sports!

Man I'm glad I'm a man, man
Tell you the reason I am
I don't go through a phase
Every 28 days
Man, I'm glad I'm a man

I pay cash at the grocery
No checks or coupons
I don't take a friend when I go to the john
I don't throw a fit when I break a nail
I don't buy a lot of shoes just because they're on sale

I don't apply makeup in my rear view mirror
I don't think of Bambi when I'm out hunting deer
I drink beer from a bottle and not from a glass
I don't ask my friends about the size of my ass!

Man I'm glad I'm a man, man
Tell you the reason I am
I don't face the pain
Of water weight gain

Man, I'm glad I'm a man
Let me tell you, ladies
Listen to me ladies

I love those things inside of your blouse
I love your pretty faces
Your warm and soft embraces
But if I had my own 2 boobs I'd never leave the house!

I don't spend 2 hours getting ready for a date
I don't play with dolls (unless they inflate)
When someone asks my age, I never lie
After sex in bed my spot's always dry!

I don't read about orgasms in Vogue magazines
I don't care if my dates try to get in my jeans
I don't spend a fortune on French lingerie
This is the same underwear I wore yesterday!

Man I'm glad I'm a man, man
Tell you the reason I am
I don't take the PillI don't use Massengill
Man, I'm glad I'm a man

Man I'm glad I'm a man, man
Tell you the reason I am
I find Michael BoltonCompletely revolting
Man, I'm glad I'm a man

.......and men DO love boobies!!....Oh lighten up, we're just having fun here....I'm just sayin..


Anonymous said...

Ha ha ha ha ha! But I am glad I am a WOMAN!

Winky Twinky said...

I'm with ya there, Sarah...we know who's really in charge...but gotta throw something out for the guys every now and then... ;)

Anonymous said...

cool i really like what it says cool

Winky Twinky said...

hehe......I can tell.... you like boobies, right?